Your Quaalude Stories

The all-seeing, deer-in-the-headlights stare. The tingling fingertips. The illegal smile. The feelings of connection and wonder and joy and love and...

If you ever had the pleasure of enjoying methaqualone, you personally know why we are such fans. Delivering pure pleasure was what these groovy little tabs were all about.

Sadly outlawed, here in '82 and abroad by '89, younger generations may never experience this joy beyond the impressions we share through the stories we pass down. As Baby Boomers, it is our responsibility to share this special lore now... before we forget the details altogether.

WARNING: Quaaludes were prized for their ability to remove inhibition

The stories told by users of 'Ludes may involve inappropriate, immoral or illegal behavior... (oh, goody)!

Not judgin'. Just sayin'.

Read on at your own peril. 

#27 Gary 2017-12-19 18:56
The Doctor.
Another story I’m reminded of is about one of the many Quaalude Doctors who wrote prescriptions at that time. Doctor Fertig’s office was located on Ocean Parkway in Brooklyn. Doc Fertig was housed in one of those big-ass old homes in Brooklyn that was probably built right after WWII. His waiting room was controlled by a couple of fairly huge “Security Guards” compliments of the Local Crime Family, and otherwise known as his partners. Needless to say, it was very interesting set-up. The Mafia sought out doctors who were at the end of their careers, and set-up shop for them under the guise of a “Diet Clinic”. To the authorities the doctor would prescribe “Tenuate” which was used in the treatment of obesity, and then write you a script for 60-Quaaludes to help you sleep. The Mob also “forged” a relationship with many local pharmacies, who they would refer you to upon leaving the doctors office. I should also mention that all transactions were done on a cash basis, and the Security Guards “wink-wink” were the bank for the Clinic.

It was rumored that Doc Fertig, who lived in one of the exclusive “Five Town” neighborhoods in Long Island, and had a very prestigious career, also had a severe problem with the ponies, which is why in his 70’s he reverted to banging out scripts for the Mob. He was absolutely scandalous, and loved hearing you recite stories about how your sex life was troubled, and how you needed Quaaludes to take off the edge and make everything right. His office was always overflowing and quite chaotic, and on several occasions the authorities temporarily shut him down. Soon after Hamilton Jordan, who was President Carters Chief of Staff got busted for Quaaludes & Cocaine while driving through Washington, D.C., Quaaludes went from being a non-controlled substance to a controlled substance, and mandated the use of triplicate prescription forms. I was actually in Doc Fertig’s office before and after the introduction of triplicates, and once triplicates were here to stay the authorities became much more aggressive with Doctors writing these scripts, and actively trying to shut them down.

On one occasion, I was in Doc Fertigs office on a lovely spring afternoon in the Mid-70’s patiently awaiting my turn to see the doctor. All of a sudden the front door opened and a couple of very clean cut dudes wearing wind-breakers with the initials “DEA” written across the back stormed through the reception area. I thought to myself, how rude for them to jump in front of the line, and wondered why they just couldn’t wait their turn like the rest of us. No matter, the waiting room is packed with patients, the security guards are nowhere to be found, and fights between patients who were waiting what seemed like days escalated to a fairly high level. Suddenly the door to Doc Fertigs private office flies open, and two of these DEA Agents are carrying Doc Fertig out of the office by holding him from under his arms. As the Doc is passing through the reception area (his feet aren’t touching the ground so he appears to be moving through the air like a celestial body) he pauses when he gets to me, looks me strait in the eyes and says, “I’ll be back tomorrow don’t go anywhere”. At this point the droves of patients in the waiting room empty out onto the streets of Brooklyn, not high and very dry. I go home for the night and come back bright & early the next day, and guess who’s back in action sitting behind that big desk writing scripts, you guessed it, good old Doc Fertig. Our prayers are answered.

Unfortunately, that was to be one of my last visits to the Doc, and years latter when I had nothing better to do I looked him up on the Internet, and I found that his fate was eventually sealed by the DEA and the Criminal Court System of New York. Long live Doc Fertig, the man, the myth, and the legend!
#26 Gary 2017-12-19 18:54
Part 2 of 2

So what to do? I thought there must be a vending machine somewhere inside the police station, so I’ll just go inside drop a couple of quarters in the machine, grab a soda, grab my girl, drop our Lude, find a room or whatever somewhere in the confines of the Silver Springs Police Station, and Partay!!!!! So after much finessing I get out of the car, but now my balance and speech are much worse than they were about 20-minutes earlier. So in my infinite wisdom, I decide to crawl on all fours up the steps of the Silver Springs Police Station, get my soda, get my girl, split our Lude, get a room, and Partay! However, as I’m about halfway up the steps to Nirvana I feel a tap on my shoulder, it’s of course another friendly officer enquiring as to my name & what do I think I’m doing. I immediately muster up all of the energy & sobriety available to me throughout the universe, and as I struggle to stand upright & form the syllables that state my name, I am placed in some very attractive bracelets & carried to my corner suite for the night. To my chagrin, my three friends pass me in the hallway on their way out of the station, and on to the party of the season. Porsche-Girl is dismayed by the turn of events, but recovers quickly by hooking-up with another dude in my absence, and I am stuck in Silver Springs for the long evening. As I sat there in my suite it occurred to me that I no longer had to split my Lude with the most recent object of my affection, Elation! So I reached in my pocket, stopped drooling for 20-seconds, threw back the “Q”, and went to sleep for the evening.

Needless to say, I was never welcomed back to the Silver Springs Police Station, but Porsche-Girl did pick me up in the morning, and consequently the partay continued for the rest of that decade.
#25 Gary 2017-12-19 18:52
Part 1 of 2

Circa 1970’s.
I say Circa 70’s because it was the lost decade for me, and trying to recall the exact year is a little challenging. There are so many stories to tell, some of which ended in disaster, and others ended with a smile on my face that’s still there today. Firstly, I think it’s safe to say that C16H14N2O1 “Methaqualone” better known as “Ludes” transformed each and every one of us. It didn’t matter if they were A.S. Sopers, Parist 400, Wallace 400, Rohrer 714, Lemmon 714, or just Bootlegs; girls who were seemingly unapproachable one day had to dragged out of my bed after dropping a “Q” or two the next. It was just freaking unbelievable, and I loved every moment of it! Who knew that a little white pill would open up the floodgates to the party of the century, and would keep it going for as long as supplies last…

One story that comes to mind happened in the winter of 1974 (I actually was able to figure out the year) in Silver Springs, Maryland. I was at a friend’s apartment not too far from American University, and we were partying away. I’m dropping another said Bernstein, I’m taking three said Goody, this is my fourth mumbled Bravo, and Linda who was the hottest Porsche-Driving Coed on campus, was already higher than all three of us. So we rolled into the winter night in route to the biggest party of the season. Three crazed dudes loaded to the hilt, all stuffed into a brand spanking new 911 Targa with the hottest babe on campus, OMFG! It was like we died, went to heaven, and heaven turned out to be like an episode of Californication & Baywatch all rolled into one. We were flying through Silver Springs at the speed of light, and as the poor little 911 was struggling to keep up a funny thing happened on the way to the fair! Some of you may be familiar with the occasional sound of sirens, or the illumination of red & blue beacons in the night, but if your not, we got pulled over by Silver Springs finest “The Police”. It was like my life flashed before me, we were definitely going to be late to the party, I was wondering if they were going to call my parents in NYC, and I was desperately trying to figure out how I could still hook up with my little Porsche-Girl regardless of the ensuing Police situation.

In the next moment a flashlight was in our faces, and a voice was telling us to follow behind to the Silver Springs Police Station. Upon arriving at the station the officer told all of us to get out of the Porsche. Even though I was riding shotgun I was the last person out of the car. Unfortunately, I was not able to stand without holding on to the roof of the car, and when the officer asked my name, I spoke in a language that was only decipherable by individuals who had ingested in excess of 900-miligrams of Methaqualone, and my Policeman was not that guy. So as my three friends were invited into the station for questioning & sobriety testing, which I might add was undetectable with a Breathalyzer, I was very sternly warned to stay in the car or I would be spending the night in the corner suite, just a stoners throw from where the car was parked. So I went back into the 911 and began to ponder our situation. While in the midst of my pondering I discovered another “Q” in the little change pocket of my Wranglers, and I thought “perfect” I could split the Lude with Porsche-Girl, and we could get naked & crazy somewhere in the police station, Perfection!
#24 Surfmama 2017-12-18 16:00
Memories brings me back to 1978 - 1979
The cost at that time were 5 per pill
I would have a party and we all would take a lude and smoke some pot listening to Pink Floyd
The downside was not remembering the next day what or who you did. Lol
#23 howard goldberg 2017-12-15 11:29
i send this note to Mr. Q, sometimes we never find a job that is meaningful until others point it out. look at the letters that are sent here and know that for one moment, you've brought back a memory from 40 yrs ago that lights up a smile a mile wide to others. BRAVO to you , Mr Q
#22 Rich 2017-12-13 14:43
The 714 parties of the late 70's early 80's.
Here in my hometown of Berlin New Jersey-located in the southern part of NJ there was a friend of mine that had a nice little home with plenty of space in the back--enough room to have large parties complete with bonfires-live music-and plenty of friendly people.
I remember everyone taking "Ludes" and just having a great relaxing time...boy do I miss the feeling that we were all experiencing during those parties.
Everyone in harmony together listening to music-making out-talking and just having the time of our lives, preparing to become adults.
Bring back the Ludes!
#21 Marc 2017-12-13 11:51
It was the late 70's, we were teenagers, birth control was free to women of any age, Quaaludes were plentiful and there was no such thing as AIDS. I could cry to think about it.

But perhaps my favorite tale of 'Ludeness happened just a couple of years ago. I am fortunate enough to live in Colorado where we'd come to our senses a few years before that. I had had an unfortunate recent occasion to enlist the aid of my small town cops with some agro neighbors. Seeing the constable who had quelled the unruly miscreants as I ambled about a music festival, I approached said officer to offer my thanks. He looked at me with a purse-lipped scowl, turned and walked away. It was only later that I realized I had just spoken to a cop while wearing a Quaalude hat and with a fat joint over each ear. Not everything has gotten worse since we were kids...
#20 Gary 2017-12-12 14:35
Howard, I randomly went to the website and just read your brief comments, and it took me back momentarily. However, I'm even more curious about you! I used to know a Howie Goldberg back in the day, who drove a cute Datsun 2000, and who popped Q's day & night along with the rest of us. It's been about 35 years or so, but might that be you?
#19 howard goldberg 2017-12-12 10:35
i love ludes oh so much. it was the driving that got tricky. wrap up many a car playing pong on the way home. but oh how the women luved those things. always a fun night till i had 1 or 3 too many. god i miss those days. being an adult just sucks without them. no martini, just a lude to kick back and im golden
#18 Steelerpeach 2017-06-03 22:09
We called them sopors. Ten cents apiece. Best times of my life 1970 in Ohio state campus. 71s and orange A/S. man!!!!
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